“How to be a Heartbreaker” (Rachel vs. Donkey-Face)
In case you forgot, Finn told Will that he kissed Emma, and so now…they have been feuding, or more so, Will has been feuding with Finn. So the kids decided to give them, their leaders, an assignment. To get over their feuding, they must sing a song together (kinda gay). Off in New York, Rachel found out that she isn’t actually pregnant, but before getting back to her life, Santana says this is a wakeup call and she has to re-evaluate her life with donkey-face (her words not mine). So, we zoom off to find donkey-face singing a song at some hotel. I don’t get it, but it was a very visually stunning musical number. Oh now I get it, apparently he’s a hooker….or something – I don’t really know.
“The B*7ch is Back” (Ryder vs. Unique)
Unique is upset at Ryder for kissing Marley. No it doesn’t really make any sense. I know girls have to stick up for each other all the time, but if you ask me, she is only angry because it says so in the script in order for the gang to sing an Elton John song and to add to the whole Feuding thing going on in the episode. I’m telling you, these episodes shouldn’t be written around songs, or you fall into plotlines that kind of make sense, but really don’t. Like Unique being mad randomly. Well, I guess part of that had to do with Ryder calling her/him what she/he is. A man, but she/he wanted to be called a girl, so…I don’t know, it’s complicated.
“Cold Hearted” (Santana vs. Donkey-Face)
Santana decides to use a Paula Abdul song to challenge Donkey-Face, but at least this one didn’t seem forced. Santana has made it clear in the past of what she thinks about Donkey, but they never really had a chance to hash it out, so this one actually fit, as did the Finn vs. Will song, but a lot of the other ones seemed forced. Of course, Santana was the only one singing here, because she is just so fierce, and by the end of the song, she told him to pack up and leave. But will heee? No, so maybe Finn may have to show up and do a little suggesting of his own, and when he does he says “stay away from my future wife!”
“Bye Bye Bye” and “I Want it That Way” (Finn vs. Will)
Well, this song just seems like the perfect mashup. NSync vs. The Backstreet Boys, and the song actually sounded pretty good mashed up. This was the songs that Will and Finn chose to face off against each other, and by the end of it, they hugged it out. Or did they? I guess it was just what was in their minds as they sang the song, but in reality, Will just couldn’t do it, which made Finn leave. But Marley said to fight it and get a teaching degree, and come back.
“I Still Believe” “Super Bass” (Blaine vs. Sue)
This is the weirdest performance of the night. Sue challenges Blaine when he refuses to rejoin the Cheerios (totally put in there for the feuding sake), and she chooses a Nikki Minaj song? Ooh, we’re going to battle, and I’m going to choose the worst singer on the face of the planet to beat him with. It’s cool to see Sue sing, which is every once in a blue moon, but this was stupid. At the end, Sue won…I don’t know how (even with all her back up Cheerios), and so Blaine is stuck rejoining the Cheerios.
By the end, Ryder apologizes to everyone and returns to the computer to continue talking to an online chick (who he’s been talking to the entire episode), but when he asks if they can meet, all he sees is that she is typing a message, and all around him, he hear clicking, giving us the idea that maybe this Katie chick is at the school, but let’s be straight, she’s probably also in the Glee club.